Fears

Anyone who has ever seen the movie "Disturbia" will remember the scene when Cale is looking through the window at his neighbor, Robert Turner's house. Turner is a murderer, and Cale is witnessing what he thinks is going to be a murder. Cale looks up through the window, and sees Turner staring back at him.

This particular part of the movies gives me goosebumps every time I watch it. Doesn't matter how many times I've seen it, it still gives me the heebie-jeebies.

The nightmare is recurring, one that doesn't actually occur during a dream. It occurs every time I am home alone, and I go to my bedroom (which is in the basement) to go to bed. I approach the window to close the blinds, and every time I do I picture a person on the other side of the window, holding a knife, staring back at me. I rationalize with myself every time I think of this-- I live in McFarland. I've got neighbors on both sides and front and back of my house, therefore the chances of an actual murderer waiting outside of my window are slim. Nevertheless, the fear is still there, waving its knife.

This fear was only strengthened during one occasion a couple of years ago. Long story short, I was at a hotel in Green Bay when someone (who we now know was the hotel's security guard) broke into our hotel room while we were sleeping. Although I didn't actually look out the balcony door and see him looking back at me, I know that the balcony door is how he got into the room, and this thought is very unnerving.

Because of this fear, every time I go to close the blinds, I make sure to keep the lights in my room off. If the lights are on, I can't see what is outside until I get right next to the window. However, if the lights are off, I can see outside before I get to the window.

Watch out murderers, I know you're out there.